I am exhausted today… or at least right now as I write this. It’s peak week and I am a mixed bag of emotions! I’m exhausted, happy, excited, proud, determined, so many feelings LOL I cannot wait for my moment on stage this coming weekend! I’ve poured my heart and soul into this and I’ve realized that I am one tough chick! I realized that I am siting on something amazing here! I mean, when I look back at all that I’ve done in a year, especially in the last little while, I think WOW! I must be doing something right! LOL Not only with my bodybuilding, but even with this blog! I’ve only just started to write it and I’ve gotten so much wonderful feedback, and views! It makes me wonder why I had so much self-doubt and fear in the past about even writing it?
Fitness has always been a major passion of mine, I’ve known for a long time that I wanted to make a career in fitness. There was a point in my life where I was determined to have my own fitness studio! Now fitness is not an easy career choice, and my parents, as wonderful as they are, would constantly worry about me. They just want to see me in a secure job with benefits. I guess I let fear, and my own insecurities get the best of me, because now in my peak week I look back at what I accomplished this year in bodybuilding alone, and it makes me wonder about my career. Basically, I wish I didn’t lose faith in myself… I am not completely happy with where my career is at right now. I do not have my own business established yet, and I know I am capable of so much more! Especially now that I am in my peak week I am so much more aware of how much I can do! I guess you could say that it was during this prep that I found more of myself again. Hence, the blog post called “Anchor yourself in your dreams,” and the other one I wrote about committing to your goals as if you didn’t have a choice. These are lessons that I’ve re-learned during this prep. I have regained a stronger sense of self this year. I realized that I am a real Bad Bitch and I can do anything that I really set my mind to.
Today I did the CIBC Run for the Cure and there was a lot of talk about “hope” and it got me thinking, hope leaves room for doubt. You have to truly believe, and have faith! And let’s just say that I truly believe and have absolute faith in myself and my career. I will crush the rest of this prep, and hit the stage Saturday October 10th there’s no doubt about that! However, now I am looking to the future. What’s next? What more can I do for myself? How can I push my career further? What else could I do to help and inspire others? These are the questions that I’m asking myself right now. I have a bright future ahead of me, I always did, I just see it more clearly nowadays haha Shit happens, and you make mistakes, you underestimate yourself sometimes, the key is to learn from these mistakes. That way you’ll never let it happen again! I’m going to keep this short and sweet, Happy Peak Week to me! Here’s to the last final days before my debut in the Figure Category, and to the bright future ahead of me! I cannot wait to see what the world has in store for me! All I know is that it’s going to be epic! I can feel it! 😉