Stronger Than Me

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I’ve had writers block for the past two weeks. I’ve been writing a series called Remembering Who You Are, and just when I was attempting to write part three, I realized that I could honestly go on forever. I will come back to that series because I do think it’s important but lately I’ve been consumed with something else. I’ve been thinking about this piece for a couple of months now and I finally think I’m able to put my thoughts into words. This past little while has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster for me. I guess that comes with digging up the past and letting it go. I have been literally and figuratively cleaning out my closet. It’s a long, tedious, and sometimes painful process. However, it is necessary. I need to make room in my heart for more love, more joy. I need to get rid of the pain and suffering that no longer serves me, the stuff that is preventing me from really being connected to myself and those around me. I deserve love and happiness, and I’ve realized that the most loving thing that I could ever do for myself is to express myself. Holding on to my pain in silence, and only talking about what is socially acceptable is only hurting me, no one else. If you think about it, if you never speak about your pain, if you never try to understand it, how does that not eventually hurt those around you? I know I don’t need to speak of my pain in such a public manner, in fact I write about these things in my own personal journal almost everyday. I also talk to the people who love me most about these things as well. I chew on it, sit in it, feel it, and then find a way to put into words on this blog. Once I get to the point of putting my story online, I can finally let go. I do my best to come to this space and turn my pain into something positive. I want to share my lessons with you, because maybe I’m not the only person who needs to learn it.

Recently, I listened to a Super Soul Conversations Podcast with Oprah and Thich Nhat Hanh. Thich Nhat Hanh is a well-respected Vietnamese Monk, Political Activist, and Author. It was a beautiful podcast that really touched me. I even wrote down a bunch of quotes from the podcast because I found it to be so meaningful to me. One thing that really stood out for me was when Thich Nhat Hanh said:

Your pain, your anxiety, is your baby. You have to take care of it. Go back to yourself, recognize the suffering in you, embrace the suffering, and you get a relief. And if you continue with your practice of mindfulness and concentration, you understand the roots, the nature of that ill-being and you’ll be able to transform it.

Thich Nhat Hanh went on to define what he means by suffering, and basically, suffering is the fear, anger, anxiety, and despair in us. However, the purpose of mindfulness is to cultivate compassion and understanding. This is the foundation of happiness. First you must be compassionate and understanding towards yourself before you can do the same for others. This has been my main goal for myself. I decided that I was going to be happy back in January and in my heart I knew that the only way I was ever going to be able to do this was to find compassion and understanding for myself. Everyday, I have been more loving, compassionate, and understanding towards myself and it has paid tenfold. It is the reason why I have been able to write these pieces, and forgive the people who have hurt me in my past, including myself.

Over the past few months, I’ve been listening to Amy Winehouse on and off. There is one song in particular that has resonated with me the most. It’s called Stronger Than Me. At first, I thought this song spoke to me because it reflected the vast majority of my past relationships with men, where I’ve felt that I was always taking care of them and never feeling like my efforts were being reciprocated in the same way. Looking back, a lot of my relationships were very one-sided. My partners always seemed to need me more than I needed them, and when I needed them the most, they failed to help me. This would only leave me feeling very resentful, angry and upset. I was always the stronger one, and when shit hit the fan, I was left with the mess. After every relationship there would be longer and longer gaps between boyfriends because I just didn’t have the energy to give. I had given so much of myself to this person in a way that was very self-sacrificing. As if their needs were more important than mine. I saw myself as the strong one, or at least that was the story I would tell myself, and therefore, I didn’t need much from them to be happy. Well, that’s not true. This only made me feel more tired, depleted, and alone.

After some time and meditation, I’ve realized that this song resonates with me on a deeper level. A level that I only came to realize this past weekend, but before I get into that, I’m going to tell you a very sad, but true story about myself. One that not too many people know about me. A story that I’ve only recently been able to speak more openly about with my loved ones because I’ve finally realized the power it had over me and my relationships with the opposite sex. So, here it goes:

Once upon a time, there was a very insecure 15-year-old girl who was about to turn 16. She went to an all girls high school and was terrified that she wouldn’t never have a boyfriend because she wasn’t pretty enough, and well, there just weren’t too many opportunities for her to meet boys outside of school and dance class. She did just start working at a grocery store part time, but again, she just came out of puberty and really didn’t think much of herself. She still saw herself as that awkward, ugly, little girl, and in her mind, having a boyfriend would prove that she was in fact pretty. So, she made herself a profile on MeetMeinTO. This was a site where young people could meet one another and a lot of people used it to meet potential partners. She got quite a bit of attention, and at the time, she very much needed the affirmation. Finally, she met and decided to go out with this one particular boy. He was older, and he had a car, all the things that seemed important to a naive, insecure, fifteen year old girl. One day, this boy picked her up to go on a date. It was his birthday. We went to the movies, and after the movie he said that he wanted to go back to his place because his mom had people over for cake. Growing up, birthdays have always been so important in her family, so she didn’t think twice to join him and his family in continuing the birthday celebrations. He lived far from where she lived. In fact, he lived in a completely other part of the GTA. Once they arrived at his place, she came to the harsh realization that there was no cake. In fact, there was absolutely no one there. Terrified, and alone, she felt trapped. He had brought her home to have cake, but not the kind of cake she had in mind. That night she was date raped. He put her in a situation where she felt like she couldn’t refuse him. He had sex with her, and at the end she cried. She couldn’t stop crying. In fact, she couldn’t look at him in the face. He immediately apologized, but it was too late. He robbed her of her innocence, and because of that, she will never be the same.

I never told my parents about this, or any adult. I never got the help I needed. I was afraid, and because of that, I suffered alone. I didn’t allow anyone to help me, because there was a part of me that believed it was my fault. Like I said, I was a very naive, and insecure girl when it happened. I felt really stupid for allowing myself to be in a situation where I would be alone with a boy so far away from my home. I didn’t have a cell phone at the time, but either way, I would have never used a landline to call my parents because I never wanted them to not trust me anymore. I didn’t want them to think less of me. I always wanted to be seen in a positive light when it came to my parents. They are the two people who I love the most, and I couldn’t bear it if they loved me any less. So I stayed in silence. It wasn’t until two weeks ago that I was able to tell my Mom what happened me. And guess what? She doesn’t love me less. Go Figure.

However, it took me a little bit longer to tell my Dad. In fact, I only told him to his face this past Tuesday and it was in passing because I wasn’t able to go into any detail with him. I am Daddy’s little girl. Always have been, always will be. There is no man on this Earth that I love more than my Father. So you can imagine how hard it must be to break your Dad’s heart in this way. I never want to hurt my Dad in any way, so I kept this a secret from him, I wanted to protect him, because I knew this information would destroy him. But this secret was slowly destroying me. I kept finding men who would leave me feeling depleted, men who would constantly be taking from me, or, I would just constantly give myself to these men without expecting much back in return. I would just keep repeating the feeling of being robbed over and over again. Well no more. I deserve better than that, and so did that 15-year-old girl.

When I listened to that song Stronger than me last weekend, it took on a new meaning for me. I realized that it spoke to me in a very profound way because it reminded me of my Dad. I realized that all I ever wanted my Dad to do was to protect me, to be the stronger one, but how could he? I never gave him the opportunity. I just assumed that he couldn’t handle it, and that wasn’t very fair to him, or to me. But then again, I was raped, it happened, and there’s nothing that can reverse that. My Dad couldn’t save me. He wasn’t there, and he’s not always going to be there. It’s up to me to pick up the pieces and save myself. I don’t need someone to be “stronger than me,” even though sometimes it can feel that way, where all you want is someone to “stroke your hair,” and tell you that everything is going to be okay, but I’m here to tell you that, that person exists. They exist inside of you. For me, I’ve been developing my relationship with this person everyday. Everyday I feel stronger, because through my practice of mindfulness I find the strength inside of me.

How diet is more than just “will power”

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Lately, a lot of my clients have been asking me about what it takes to be successful. Especially when it comes to their diet. When it comes to improving your fitness, the diet is always the hardest part, and for some reason, a lot of my clients assume that it has something to do with their “lack of will power.” However, it is much more complicated than that. Believe it or not, there are a lot of social, psychological, and emotional attachments to food, and to eating in general. These all play a big role in how successful you are at dieting. Here are a few things that I have come to understand about dieting, and how to lose weight successfully through my own personal experiences:

First of all, you need to decide whether or not you really want to lose weight. How serious are you about this goal? Has this goal changed from a want to a need? For example, generally when someone really wants something like a job, a new car, or shoes, they start to convince themselves that they “need it.” When someone really wants something, they will talk to themselves, and to others about how much they “need” this particular thing. Example: “Oh my God, I need these new shoes!”  Whether or not they may actually need the new pair of shoes, is besides the point. The point is, they convinced themselves that they do, and therefore have justified the purchase to themselves. Now they’re happy, or at least for the moment, because they had achieved the goal of buying new shoes. They had gotten themselves something that they really wanted, and they now feel more accomplished, and happy. It is the same with weight loss. How unhappy are you in your current situation? How uncomfortable do you feel in your own skin? Enough to make a permanent and lasting change? If so, then we can actually start to set up a game plan to help you be successful. Permanent and lasting weight loss only works if you are committed to it. It is something that you have to work on everyday, it is all the choices that you make through out each and everyday that impact your weight loss success or failure.

At the very basic level, you need to put yourself, your health, and your body first. It must be a priority. If it is a priority, if being healthy and feeling good is so important to you, then you will choose better foods for your body, and you will find activities and exercise for your body and so on. If your health isn’t a priority, if you’re not unhappy with your weight, or at least not enough to really do anything about it, then why do you keep punishing yourself for the choices you make? Why do you keep calling yourself fat? And treating yourself like shit?  If you are not willing to make any changes with your current lifestyle, then you must find a way to be happy with the person you are right now, because putting yourself through this emotional and psychological trauma just isn’t worth it. No one deserves that sort of abuse. It is not positive, and it is certainly not productive. Being mean to yourself isn’t going to change your life, and it isn’t going to change who you are. If anything, you become a victim of your own life, and the circumstances that you put yourself in. This only perpetuates the problem, and keeps you fat, unhealthy, and unhappy.

Being healthy, or feeling good about yourself in general, is a constant battle. It doesn’t just magically happen, and once you have found your happy place, you need to work to keep yourself there.  The second you think you’re fine, and you don’t need to be as “strict” with your health goals, is the second you start to fall down your priority list. Before you know it, your back to square one, or worse. Your health and happiness is the most important thing in your life. In fact, YOU are the most IMPORTANT person in YOUR life. Without you, and your body, you would not be able to experience life. If you want to be successful at anything it is more than “will power,” or discipline. It starts with you putting yourself, your happiness, your needs, and your goals first! Everything else is secondary. Once you know what you need in your life to be happy, you will do anything to get it, but only if your happiness is of the utmost importance!

Your happiness only becomes important to you, if you think you deserve it. You have to accept who you are now, flaws and all, before you can truly be happy. Once you believe that you deserve better, that you can have better, and that you are better than the way you are treating yourself, that is when you can really be happy. Failure happens, mistakes happen. You will never be perfect, and you may fall off your diet, but tomorrow is a new day. The only way you can truly be successful at anything you do including your diet, is through consistent, committed, hard work. You need to be 100% committed to consistent hard work, no matter how hard it gets, or if you’ve made a mistake, you need to be willing to get right back up on that horse and keep going. As they say, slow and steady always wins the race, and that could not be more true when it comes to long lasting weight loss. Being healthy and feeling good is a life long battle. If it is important to you, then you must be committed to consistently making the best food choices for you and your body every single day! Sometimes we may not make the best choices, but that is no reason to let it snowball, let it go, and get right back on track tomorrow. If anything happiness, and healthiness are both a life-long battle. I’m not saying that consistently looking a certain way will guarantee happiness, however, I am saying that consistently feeding your body healthy foods, and keeping yourself active does foster happiness. So if you want to be healthy and happy, then you MUST make the choice everyday to be healthy and happy.

Check Your Ego at the Door!

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One of the biggest reasons why most of us don’t accomplish the things that we want is because we can’t seem to let go of our Egos. We get so wrapped up in our own heads that we fail to see all the opportunities that lie in front of us. If any of us want to experience real growth, real change, and overall happiness, we must get over ourselves first. We live in a very egocentric world where we are all so concerned with who we are, who we want to be, and how other people may perceive us. We have several different social media platforms like Instagram, and Twitter, that only add to our egos. They help us to shape our identity to the rest of the world. They allow us to become whoever we want. This is neither good, nor bad. I actually think that our highly connected world can be a real good thing, when it is used for positive things, like connecting with others, and sharing ideas. However, when you mix egoism with social media, that is where problems occur. I’m not planning on talking about the “evils” of social media, but I do plan on talking to you about how holding on too hard to your ego will hold you back.

Your “ego” is your conscious mind, it is the part of your identity that you consider your “self.” So when I say that we live in a very egocentric world, I mean that we live in a world that is overly concerned with themselves, and themselves only. A lot of people may not consider themselves to be too egotistical. This is because a lot of people assume that when someone is egotistical, they are cocky, and arrogant. However, being egotistical does not always mean that you think you’re better than anyone else, it actually means that your only concern is yourself. You may only be concerned for yourself because you think you’re better than everyone else, but sometimes you may only be concerned with yourself, because you don’t think you measure up to anyone else. It can go both ways. What we need to realize is that your ego is separate from your self-esteem. Often times, someone’s ego is mistaken for high self-esteem. Having high self-esteem does not mean that your main concern is only for yourself. In reality your self-esteem is an assessment of your self worth, how much or how little of value you are to yourself and to others. Your self-esteem helps to develop your self-concept (who you think you are). It is important to have high self-esteem, because if you think highly of yourself, you will have higher expectations of yourself as well. You will aim to better yourself, and you will treat yourself much better. In addition, if you love who you are, you will be better at loving others. Valuing yourself does not separate you from others but your ego does.

Your ego’s main concern is “I.” I want, I need… you get the idea. Your ego steers you into a path of self-destructive and isolating behavior, where you are either differentiating yourself from others, and comparing yourself to others, or you’re in need of constant affirmation/validation. This is how your ego thrives. However, if you had a high self-esteem, you would feel comfortable enough in your own skin to know that you are good enough. Once you know that, it does not matter what other people think, and it does not matter who’s better, because you have found happiness within yourself. This I know is easier said than done, but what I’m trying to say is, is that the only way it can happen is if you let go of your ego, and your insecurities. Your ego only feeds your insecurities. Check your ego at the door! Understand that you don’t always know best. Seek out help, or go and find the knowledge and experience that you need to get the things that you want.

Some things that help to raise your self-esteem and self worth, are fitness, education, and helping others. These are all positive things, that make you a better and stronger person. They also bring you closer to other people. Your ego is what prevents you from accomplishing these things. It is what holds you back from seeking advice, and better knowledge. My advice to you is to let go of your ego, make yourself vulnerable, reach out to others, and seek out knowledge, because it is when you surrender yourself to change, and make yourself vulnerable, that is when you’ll see the most growth.

Spring is Here! Summer is around the corner! Are you beach body ready?

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Spring has officially arrived! This means that fitness competition season is in full effect, and everyone has the summer on their brains! That being said, are you beach body ready? Every time spring comes around, and the weather starts getting warmer, everybody starts to come out of hibernation mode, and they start getting excited to wear shorts! But when we start thinking of summer clothes, we know this means we will be more exposed. This is why there is a sudden influx of people in the gym. Those New Years Resolutioners that have fallen off, get a painful reminder that summer is fast approaching, and therefore, march to the gym to try and get back on track with their fitness goals. Hey! I’m not complaining! It’s great for my business! And I get excited when I see people motivated to improve their health.

Lately, I’ve noticed a lot of women on my Facebook News Feed, posting videos about beauty and body image. These videos are very female focused but I think body image, and self-esteem effect men as well, more so now than ever before. Obviously not to the same degree as women, but nonetheless the pressure to “look good” is strong for both sexes. This has got me thinking, with summer coming along, and the pressure to look good, how many people are terrified to hit the beach this summer? I’m sure that many of us feel this way, or at least you’re devising a plan to get you to a place where you feel comfortable wearing next to nothing this summer. And this is where I come in. I plan on giving you some solid advice to help you get closer to your beach body goals! However, before I do, this is a disclaimer: don’t think that loosing weight is going to help you love yourself because it won’t. In addition, don’t think that by doing a bikini show it’s going to do the same, because it won’t. First of all you need to accept yourself as you are, you need to understand that your weight has nothing to do with who you are as a person. The number on the scale only describes your relationship with gravity, not your worth. Whether you are 100 lbs or 200 lbs, your values, personality, intelligence, etc. Are much more valuable to society than the size and shape of your ass. Beauty is fleeting, and your body is a vessel to take you through life. It must be nurtured, and respected. Not tortured, and mocked. Workout, and eat well because your body deserves the best. The healthier and stronger your body is, the better your quality of life. So, if you plan on improving your fitness, it should be because you plan on improving your quality of life, not to fit a “beauty standard.”

That being said, here are my top 5 Nutritional types to help you achieve your summer fitness goals:

  1. DRINK TONS OF WATER!! HOT WATER TOO! – Staying hydrated is extremely important as the temperatures rise, however, it is also very important to help you get through your workouts safely. In addition, many times when you’re “feeling hungry” you may actually just be thirsty. This is very true when you’re watching your favorite series on Netflix after a long day of work, when we get the urge to snack, you should grab for water instead. For me? When I was preparing for both of my bodybuilding shows, herbal teas were my savior! Hot water helps you feel full. Herbal teas are not caffeinated, so they hydrate you, and I found it very relaxing. This helped me not feel so hungry before bed, and it relaxed me so that I could have a good deep sleep.
  2. MAKE SURE YOU GET PLENTY OF REST!! – When you’re trying to loose weight, you are generally restricting calories, meaning you are consuming less energy than you would normally. So, in order to conserve energy you must get plenty of rest. This will also help to minimize your stress levels, and the stress you are putting on your body. With ample rest, your body is able to recover properly so that you can workout, and complete your daily tasks.
  3. MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE EXERCISING REGULARLY!! – It is very important that you exercise, especially WEIGHT TRAIN while trying to loose weight. Anytime, no matter how safe the diet, you will inevitably loose muscle mass along with fat and excess water. In order to minimize the amount of muscle you loose, you must weight train on a regular and consistent basis!
  4. EAT PLENTY OF PROTEIN!!! – This is very important when you’re trying to slim down! You will inevitably loose muscle mass, so you want to keep as much of it as possible, this is why you must eat a sufficient amount of protein. Also, because you will be weight training, you must eat enough protein to feed and protect your muscles. Lastly, protein is the most difficult energy source for your body to breakdown, this will help you feel fuller for longer. The amount of protein you should be eating, or the amount of calories you should be consuming to reach your fitness goals, should be determined by an experienced and trained professional.
  5. EAT PLENTY OF GREENS!!! – Sometimes, no matter how much water you drink, or herbal tea, you will still feel super hungry! Trust me, I know! I’ve been there! This is why I say to you that veggies, especially green veggies, are unlimited when dieting. They are high fiber, high water, and low carb. They will help keep you full, and they are full of essential nutrients to help keep you HEALTHY!!! That is the most important thing, you want to maintain your health over a certain “body image.” If you are using a calorie counter app, I would not include my vegetables, but I would include all of my fruits! Avocado is a fruit so please log it! So are tomatoes! Log those too! But veggies? Eat all the veggies, so to speak.

BEST OF LUCK ON YOUR WEIGHT LOSS GOALS! ALWAYS SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP WHENEVER TRYING TO ACHIEVE YOUR FITNESS GOALS! ESPECIALLY IF YOU DON’T HAVE MUCH ATHLETIC EXPERIENCE! THIS WILL HELP TO ENSURE THAT YOU REACH YOUR GOALS IN THE SAFEST AND MOST EFFECTIVE WAY POSSIBLE.

You Have Value!

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Recently I wrote an article called  Invest more than $ into yourself  because lately I’ve been giving the idea of investing in oneself a great deal of thought. I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to invest in yourself and why you need to continue to do so. However, it was this past weekend when I met up with an old friend from Laurier for lunch that I realized the “why” behind investing in yourself. You need to take care, and invest in yourself because you have value. My friend, as well as myself reached a point in our lives where we felt lost. We fell into a funk, and forgot our own value. Because of this, we started making decisions out of fear, and holding ourselves back. This only made us feel as if we didn’t deserve much. We stated to think that maybe we suck? Maybe that’s why we’re not happy? We’re not happy because we suck. Maybe that’s why we’re not where we’re supposed to be in life? Or at least where we think we should be in life.

It took some time, and in our own ways we both realized that, that is not true. From my own personal experience, I realized that I can get myself out of this shitty situation. I realized that the situation I put myself in, is not a true reflection of who I am, or who I want to be. I learned that I needed to separate myself from the situation, and understand that maybe I’ve made mistakes, and maybe I’m a little lost, but that does not mean that I no longer have value, or that I won’t be able to find my way. This is very easy to forget. It is very easy to forget that you have value, that you are important, and that you have plenty to offer the world. There will be times where you find yourself in a negative relationship, in a negative environment, or in a job that you hate. All of these situations can have you feeling like shit, and they will also cause you to question your own self-worth. For me? I found myself in a job, and in an environment that I HATED SO FREAKING MUCH!!! Not only was it negative, I found that it completely conflicted with my beliefs, and values. I started to resent my job, and I hated feeling that way. It made me question myself, my career path. I started to question if I made the right choices? Is fitness for me? Maybe I’m just not good at this?

It took me time, and moving to another small gym, before eventually I began to realize that it was the company and the environment that wasn’t for me, not fitness. Actually, I’m really good at instructing classes, and personal training. I also realized that I can’t keep selling myself short, I need to follow my original dream and start my own business. I live and breath fitness… I mean that’s why I got into the industry in the first place! It was my passion for fitness, and how it empowers me that I even started instructing classes. I wanted to bring that sense of empowerment to others. I needed to remind myself of my purpose, and that I had value. No matter how negative the situation I was in, I had to remind myself that I will be okay. It wasn’t easy but the one way that I got out of this funk, and started to believe in myself was through my own personal investment. The best way to elevate yourself and to remind yourself that you have value is to invest in yourself. Do things that make you happy, do things that give you energy. Educate yourself, read, workout, try new things, go on adventures, whatever you have always wanted to do or learn, go and do those things. These are the things that will help you create your own happiness. I am not telling you to run away from yourself, but instead to take the time to be with yourself, learn, and grow. The more quality time your spend with yourself, investing in yourself, and getting to know yourself, the more you will be able to see your own value. Once you believe that you matter, and that you have value, the easier it will be to get through tough situations. You will be able to separate yourself from the negative situation, accept your mistakes, and move on because you believe that you can, and that you deserve to be happy.

If you find yourself valuable, others will too. Treat yourself as if you have value, because you do. 

Giving Back to the school where my fitness career began…

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A couple months back my old boss Jennifer O’Neil, who is head of the recreation department at Wilfrid Laurier’s Athletic Complex invited me to host the Group Fitness Staff’s training today March 13th 2016. The vast majority of the Group Fitness Staff at Wilfrid Laurier University are students, it is where my passion for fitness and my career in fitness first began. So, when she asked me if I would be interested in coming to give a presentation and teach a Group Fitness class, I jumped on the opportunity! I was so excited to have the chance to give back to the same place that gave me so much.

So my best friend and number one fan Thansha joined me to visit the school where our friendship, and my fitness career first started. We got there early, so we decided to drive around to see where we used to live, and to take a walk around campus. It was so weird to see how much Laurier has changed, but also how much of it stayed the same. I mean it even smelled the same, as weird as that sounds! Walking through the concourse and the dinning hall brought back so many memories of the best 4 years of my life. It really felt as if we were coming back home in a way. This school has given me so much more than just an education, it gave me a passion for fitness, my closest friends, and so many life lessons that had shaped me into the adult that I am today. I think it’s good to remind yourself of where you started. We so often forget how far we’ve come in life because we are always so focused on how much further we need to go. We can so easily become disappointed with ourselves because we don’t feel as though we are where we’re “supposed to be.” Today was a great reminder to me of my purpose, or the reasons why I love what I do. I feel as though I got just as much from giving my presentation and class to the students at Laurier as they did. Or at least I hope they did…

So here is the Coles notes version of my presentation today… Basically, when I entered my second year of university I no longer recognized myself. I had gained the so called “freshman 15” because I stopped dancing and cheerleading in first year, and I was no longer the active person that I used to be. The traditional gym setting however, was intimidating to me at the time because I was so used to training in a studio setting. I had absolutely no idea how to use the machines. So, I decided to join the group fitness classes. It felt like home. I loved the classes so much, I found them motivating, empowering and inspiring. So much so, that I included a fitness class into my daily routine Monday to Friday and even sometimes on the weekends. I started to see results from joining the classes, so I decided that because I was feeling so good from working out, I should translate this into my nutrition as well. So I started really researching, and looking into how to improve my health through my diet. This is where meal prepping was born for me. At the end of second year I decided I wanted to be an instructor. I was hired, and I got my certification that summer before third year. I even went to the Canfit Pro Fitness Conference in Toronto all by myself that summer. Even though I’ve never taught a single class, or knew anybody there, I wanted to learn as much as I could before going back to Laurier so that I could be a good instructor. After a few months of teaching classes, I knew I wanted to be the Group Fitness Coordinator. So I met with Jenn and asked her what she was looking for in the student leader position. I even met with the current Coordinator at the time and asked her what she did to prepare for the interview. I knew I was an underdog because it was only my first year teaching, but I was determined to get the position. I even wrote a full proposal for my interview outlining exactly how I would hypothetically run the program. It was because of this proposal that I got the Coordinator Position for my 4th and 5th year at Laurier.

During my time as Coordinator I felt as though I really exploited my resources and tried to learn and gain as much experience as possible, because I knew then that I wanted to make fitness my career. I wanted to share with the world how fitness empowers me, and how it can empower them as well. I taught at several gyms in the Kitchener/Waterloo area. I was the Recreation Assistant for a summer. I made two Zumba DVDs and sold them to the Zumba following I built while teaching at Goodlife and Laurier. In my 5th year I was teaching 6 Zumba classes a week, 8 classes in total! Crazy right?! That was while I was still in school, managing the Group Fitness Program, and I still managed to have a social life. I did an Aerobathon for mental health awareness for a Student Presidential Campaign. I really did try to get involved with the school as much as possible, and tried to bring fitness to the general population of Laurier through the friends that I knew in the Student Union. There are so many more little things that I did, like participate in flash mobs on campus, but you get the idea. It was at Laurier that my passion for fitness was born, and it was through the mentorship of the staff at the Athletic Complex like my boss Jennifer, that really allowed me to feel safe to take the risks that I did to grow within the fitness industry. To be honest, working for Laurier as the Group Fitness Coordinator, outside of having my own business right now, was my all time favorite job! Not only was Jenn the best boss I ever had, someone who was so caring and easy to talk to, she really gave me a lot of autonomy which gave me plenty of room to grow within the role, and as a person. I will never forget the opportunities and experiences I gained while I was at Laurier and I was so happy to be able to give something back today. I really do hope that I inspired some of the students today to continue teaching fitness outside of Laurier, or even to just stay fit for themselves. Either way, I’m happy to have had the opportunity to meet some new generations of golden hawks, and to be able to re-visit the same gym that changed my life for the better. Thank you Jennifer for inviting me, and Thank you Laurier for the adventure of a lifetime! I’m so proud of what I did while I was there, and I’m so proud of how far I’ve come, and how much further I’ll go? I guess we just have to wait and see 😛

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Me giving my speech and presentation to the Group Fitness Staff in the Hawk Lounge at the Athletic Complex March 13th 2016 🙂 

 

How Exercise can help to slow down the aging process

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This past Friday was my 27th Birthday! And I had the best time this weekend celebrating it with friends and family. I love my Birthday to be honest, it’s second only to Christmas as my favorite time of year. A lot of people once they past 25 stop loving their birthdays and start to get scared of their birthdays. This is mostly because they’re scared of aging. I think we’ve all been told at some point that turning 30 is so scary! And as I creep closer and closer to the dirty thirty, I am less and less afraid of it. I’m not afraid of getting older, because to be honest I don’t feel very old at all! I feel amazing! I mean every year I get more and more athletic, and I’ve become stronger as well. I strive to improve every year, and because of this my confidence grows. I feel way better about who I am now than I did when I was 19. And fitness had a lot to do with it! So many of my clients, especially my female clients are afraid of getting older. Mostly because they are afraid of loosing their looks, their youth, and their vitality. They always ask me, “how do you look so good?” As if somehow my answer would change, and there is some sort of magical pill that will keep them young and beautiful forever. However, I always tell them that the fountain of youth lies within a balanced diet and regular exercise! This article is basically going to talk about how regular exercise can slow down the hands of time, and will help you age much more gracefully than if you didn’t exercise at all.

Me and some of my closest friends at my 27th birthday party ❤

First of all, your age is just a number. It really doesn’t mean that much, and you should never let your age define who you are. You are capable of being whoever you want, you don’t have to be a feeble, sick, weak, or fat person if you don’t want to be. And you sure as hell don’t have to feel old either! In my mind, you are only as old as you feel, and for the most part this works out pretty well for me, except for the fact that there are social expectations for you as you age… Other than that, I am convinced that I’m not a day over 21 😛 But let’s get down to brass tacks, how exactly can exercises slow down the aging process?

How aging effects your health vs. Exercise:

Heart and Circulation Effect of Aging Effect of Exercise
Resting heart rate Increase Decrease
Maximum heart rate Decrease Slows Decrease
Maximum pumping capacity Decrease Increase
Heart muscle stiffness Increase Decrease
Blood vessel stiffness Increase Decrease
Blood pressure Increase Decrease
Blood
Number of red blood cells Decrease No change
Blood viscosity (blood thickness) Increase Decrease
Lungs
Maximum oxygen uptake Decrease No change
Intestines
Speed of emptying Decrease Increase
Bones
Calcium content and strength Decrease Increase
Muscles
Muscle mass and strength Decrease Increase
Metabolism
Metabolic rate Decrease Increase
Body fat Increase Decrease
Blood sugar Increase Decrease
Insulin levels Increase Decrease
LDL (“bad”) cholesterol Increase Decrease
HDL (“good”) cholesterol Decrease Increase
Sex hormone levels Decrease Slight Decrease
Nervous System
Nerve conduction and reflexes Slower Decrease
Quality of sleep Decrease Increase
Risk of depression Increase Decrease
Memory lapses Increase Decrease

As you can see, exercise has a positive effect on your major organs and regulatory systems. Obviously the process of aging is inevitable, but exercise can either decrease or slow down a lot of the effects that aging has on our vital organs, and regulatory systems. Not only does exercise effect our physical health in a positive way, but our mental and emotional health as well. Aging can have a very negative effect on a person’s self-esteem. However, regular exercise can have a very positive effect on a person’s self-esteem. Exercise along with a balanced diet can improve your overall body composition, making you leaner, and stronger. The strength and empowerment you gain in the gym will also give you an increased sense of self-worth and confidence. Aging however, weakens your body. If you don’t exercise, as you age you will loose muscle mass and bone density. This will make you weaker, frail, and more prone to injury. You will loose your independence much more quickly as you age if you don’t exercise, than if you did. As the saying goes, “if you don’t use it, you loose it.” This is very true, as you can see in the chart above, if you don’t keep your body active, your body’s ability to perform will decrease much more quickly than it would with regular exercise.

Exercise is great for the body, mind, and spirit. Regular exercise and activity helps to keep all of these areas youthful. However, if you do decide to improve your physical fitness, and engage in an exercise program, please do so with caution! Especially if you are a beginner! There is no use in injuring yourself and setting yourself further back than when you started. Start off small, choose activities you enjoy, and ask for help! Always consult a professional when it comes to your health! Speak to a doctor, a nutritionist, and a well known coach/personal trainer to get you to a healthier, and longer lasting life! What is the point of living to 100 if you aren’t able to do anything when you get there? Eat well, workout, and you will have a more youthful and fulfilling life as you age.

My younger sister, me, and our friend Morgan celebrating my birthday this past weekend ❤

Want more lovin’? Top 5 Way Exercise Can Improve Your Sex Life

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Valentines Day is coming this weekend to Toronto!! And the NBA All Star game… If you play your cards right boys, you can have your cake and eat it too 😉 I for one like Valentines Day! I always have, single or not. I always get a Valentine 🙂 even if it is from my Mom!! I don’t care, why be bitter? There’s enough love to go around! This is why I am writing this blog post! I’m just spreading the love guys! If you’re not already exercising? Well then here are some good reasons to start!

  1. Regular exercise increases your confidence inside and outside of the bedroom! When you exercise regularly and you eat well, there’s no reason for you not to look good, and when you look good, you tend to feel good as well. When you have an improved body image, you feel more confident and comfortable in the bedroom. Feeling sexy is a big part of sex. Everyone wants to be and feel desirable. The better you feel about yourself, the higher your sex drive. People who exercise regularly tend to rate their desirability, as well as their sexual performance higher than those who don’t exercise regularly. Confidence is attractive boys and girls! And who doesn’t wanna feel sexy right?
  2. Regular Exercise will improve sexual performance! I think everyone wants to feel confident in their abilities in the bedroom. No one likes a “one minute man” right? 😉 Sex itself is a very physical activity that requires both strength and endurance. Regular exercise will improve both of these areas, which will open up the possibilities for different sexual positions that require higher levels of physical strength, stamina, and flexibility.
  3. Regular Exercise improves blood flow, which will increase sexual arousal. So exercise will improve blood flow in your body, this will increase the blood flow to your genital areas. Not only will this increase sexual arousal, but it will increase your sexual pleasure as well! Increased blood flow, will make sex better, and the better it feels, the more you’ll want to do it. Exercise will therefore increase your overall sex drive, and pleasure. Keep the heart healthy, and you will have a healthy sex life 🙂
  4. Exercise increases Testosterone, Endorphins and, Adrenaline, a potent cocktail that increases your sex drive! Elevated testosterone levels in both men and women has been known to increase the sex drive of both sexes. Elevated levels of testosterone has been found in men after 6 weeks of weight training, and in women after 8 weeks of consistent weight training. So ladies, lifting weights = better sex drive!!! Pick up those weights if you haven’t already! Increase testosterone in males has the following results when it comes to sex: an increase in erections, man increase in sexual urges, higher energy levels, and it lowers depression. For women: more frequent sex, heightened sexual arousal, higher energy levels, and heightened mood/reduces depression. In addition, long workouts at moderate to high levels of intensity, cause the release of endorphins, and adrenaline. This is best known as “the runner’s high.” These chemicals create a feeling of well being and pleasure. The release of endorphins has been known to increase a woman’s sexual arousal, or even her orgasm.
  5. Exercise decreases your stress levels! Stress is a major sex inhibitor, and exercise releases endorphins which decreases your levels of stress and anxiety. Regular exercise is excellent for your overall mental health. It helps to reduce depression, stress, and anxiety, all of which severely reduce your sex drive. The higher your mood, and the more positively you feel about yourself, and your life, the more willing you will be to open yourself up sexually. I recently wrote a piece of the benefits of exercise to your mental health called, “How Fitness Continues to be a Beacon of Hope for Me” https://alexrinaldo.wordpress.com/2016/02/05/how-fitness-continues-to-be-a-beacon-of-hope-for-me/ In this article I talk about how exercise can improve your overall well-being, especially your mental health. It is important to understand that exercise is more than just improving your physical health, exercise can greatly improve all aspects of your life.

So guys, Happy Valentines Day Weekend! Exercise, take care of yourself, and make love ❤ 🙂

Me on Valentine’s Day last year 🙂 ❤

Stop Calling Yourself Names!!

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Last night I was training a new client of mine and at one point during our session we were doing some modified push-ups on a stability ball. After the first set of push-ups she says, “Uh if I wasn’t so fat I would probably be able to do this.” Now this really bothered me. Sure, if she was lighter or more in shape maybe she would be able to do more push-ups, but that is besides the point. Why? Well first of all, isn’t that why she came to me in the first place? To improve her fitness? Secondly, how is calling yourself fat going to help you do more push-ups? It’s not.

I’ve been personal training for a few years now, and if there is one thing I hate, (other than my clients not following their diets) is when they speak negatively about themselves. It bothers me so much! Every time I catch any of my clients saying anything negative about themselves like “I’m fat,” or “I suck.” Anything like that, I always nip it in the bud. I stop them, and tell them that I don’t like hearing it. At first, a lot of my clients don’t get it. They’re like, “but it’s true?” Or, “it’s not about you, it’s about me. So why does it bother you so much?” And the answer is this, whether or not it may be true, or whether or not it is directed towards me, it is neither positive or productive. Making fun of yourself, cutting yourself down will get you no where fast. It is not motivating, it is demotivating. Why would you be so quick to cut yourself down when you’re trying to build yourself up? Sure, you may not be able to do push-ups now, but that doesn’t mean that it always has to stay like that! If you made the steps to seek out help, or even to come to the gym to better yourself in some way, then that’s awesome! Don’t rain on your own parade and call yourself names, it just doesn’t make sense.

I’m not saying that you need to be in denial of your current state, clearly you’re not happy with where you’re at. But isn’t that why you came to make a change? If you want to be happy, well, first it starts with you. You need to stop punishing yourself, and start rewarding and encouraging yourself. If you have made the steps towards change, and you’re serious about it, then it is only up from here. You can only get better, if you stay consistent and committed. It is difficult, however, to stay committed if you’re constantly fretting about the way you are now. Yes, it will suck sometimes, and yes it’s going to be fricken hard, but hey! As Mary Poppins once said, “a spoon full of sugar, helps the medicine go down!” So stay positive, keep smiling, you don’t have to be fat or out of shape forever. You have the power to make that change, but you have to believe in yourself first! You need to be your biggest advocate for change, if you don’t believe in it, how is anyone else supposed to? You can do it, remember that 🙂

 

 

How I’ve enhanced my feminine shape through weight training :)

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Now, you may have read the title of this post and thought to yourself, “how is this possible? Doesn’t weight training make you manly, or bulky?” These are some of the myths that intimidate women from the weight rack, and even though many women know better, they are still worried about getting too big. So they say things like, “I just want to be toned.” However, there is no such thing as “toning” your body in the gym. There are only two things you can accomplish in the gym when it comes to your physique. You can either lean out or build size aka muscle. You cannot “tone.” I wrote a blog post not too long ago called “Toned? Or Skinny? Toned, the new word for skinny…” https://alexrinaldo.wordpress.com/2015/09/17/toned-or-skinny-toned-the-new-word-for-skinny/ Basically, in this article I talk about how when most women say they want to be toned, what they really mean is that they want to be smaller. They want to lean out, however, when you lean out and you don’t have a solid muscle base, you actually just look skinny. If you want to look defined, well you need to get lean, and build muscle, it’s as simple as that.

belly-dancer

This photo was taken back in my 4th year at laurier when I was teaching a bunch of cardio based classes, and not a lot of weight training. My arm as you can see is just very long and lanky. There is no real shape there.

So the real question here is, how did you enhance your feminine shape through weight training? Well first of all, I’ve always had a decent butt from skating, dancing, and cheerleading. However, bodybuilding, and serious weight training has only made my butt higher, bigger, and rounder. And let’s be real, who doesn’t love a great ass?! Bodybuilding has enhanced my feminine shape and curves in my lower body. Now, many of you may be thinking, well everyone knows that you can build a great ass in the gym… But what if I told you I’ve built myself more of an hour glass shape in the gym as well? Unfortunately it is not possible to grow your boobs in the gym, but you can make your waistline appear smaller in proportion to your back and shoulders. How do you do that? Well you grow your lats, and your delts, creating what bodybuilders call a V-taper. So if you have a V-taper, combined with a great butt and legs, you have now created an X shape or an hourglass shape. This can all be built in the gym, you can build your back, shoulders, legs, and butt in the gym, through some consistent, and heavy weight lifting, and the proper nutrition to sustain proper growth and muscle retention. Obviously genetics play a small role. It is much easier to create a more dramatic V-taper if God gave you a smaller waist naturally. Us women come in many shapes, however, this does not mean that you cannot make your waistline appear smaller in proportion to your shoulders, because you can! And you do that by lifting weights!

This is a progress photo of my V-taper. I will say that I was blessed with a small waist naturally, but the width of my back and the size of my shoulders I’ve built myself. On the left was December 18th 2015, and on the right was January 22nd 2016. Almost a month apart and you can see I’ve grown a tone!

Still scared of weight training? You probably are, it is intimidating I agree. I was once intimidated from weight training when I first got into fitness. Coming from a dance background, I was not familiar with weight training at all. However, now that I have educated myself and really became serious about it, I will never look back! It saddens me really that so many women are scared of getting stronger. It’s as if they’re afraid of losing their femininity, and therefore no longer being attractive to the opposite sex. But I’m more muscular now than I’ve ever been, and trust me, boys still find me attractive 😉 No worries there! And like I said, if anything I’ve only enhanced my hour glass shape, only making me look curvier and more feminine. My muscles, and my strength empowers me like you wouldn’t believe! Fitness in general empowers me! Never have I felt more confident and capable in everything that I do. I love looking in the mirror LOL as narcissistic as that may sound but I do. I worked so hard for my body, and I am so proud of what I see. I built this body, it is my temple, and every day I work on making it stronger, and better. Ladies, don’t you want that? Don’t you want to feel a great sense of pride every time you look in the mirror? Don’t you want to love what you see? So many girls say they do, but they really don’t, and most of the time it is out of fear.

If you want the real truth girls, here it is… Most of you do not train often and consistent enough for you to see any real muscle growth. So the chances of you ever getting “bulky” is slim to none. Secondly, the majority of you do not eat properly to sustain any real muscle growth either. Many of you, I believe are quite naive when it comes to weight training. A lot of you underestimate the amount of work it takes to get any real size on your body, because let me tell you, it takes a HELL OF A LOT! I literally workout everyday! I weight train 6 times a week! It is not magic that my body looks the way that it does. It has taken me over a year to have the body that I do today. So, what I’m telling you is that you will NEVER get manly or bulky from weight training. Especially if you’re not using any chemical drugs to enhance your muscle growth. Please, stop worrying, and start lifting anything heavier than your purse! Don’t even think about grabbing those two pound dumbbells! It feels good to be strong, trust me 😉 And it looks good too! But that’s just my opinion…

Me about to go to my bodybuilding team’s Christmas Party this past December… I don’t think I look manly LOL 😛